Virginia driving

I wish to affix a device to the front and left side of my car that will enable a much needed feature when driving in Virginia.
First, upon attempting to merge from the acceleration lane onto a highway, if a Virginia driver does not move over to the passing lane, despite the absence of other vehicles in the passing lane for miles in either direction, a rig attached to the body of my car will inflate large airbags to shove the offending car (I don’t say ‘driver’) into the appropriate lane. Or anywhere really. Anywhere else.
Second, upon entering an on ramp and finding a vehicle parked, however briefly, in the acceleration lane, a similar device will deploy towards the front of my vehicle permitting the safe removal of the offending vehicle, which clearly must contain no intelligent life.